My 18 Year Old Cub Proposed!

                                                                          

Hi Lucia,

I really admire your work and think you are fantastic.  I am a 31 year old single mom with two young children.  I met my cub when he was just 17 and we fell head over heels in love.  I pushed him away until he turned 18, as hard as that was for the both of us.  He will be turning 19 this month.

He proposed to me on Christmas day and I said yes.  Is it wrong for me to marry a teenager of 19 when I am a 31 year old woman?  When we are together I don’t question it, but he is away for a couple of months and I’m starting to have doubts. He treats me so well and we are very happy together, as are my children. I don’t want to push him away again because of my fear of the age difference.  Karen

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Where to Take a Cougar on a First Date?

 

Hi Lucia,

Thanks for all you do.  You're really awesome!

My question is, what are some great first date ideas, particularly for a cougar/cub couple?

After being in college for 4.5 years and dating girls roughly the same age as myself I've noticed most of my dates really just consisted of hanging out around campus, or going to parties, or clubs.

What are some more mature dates that a classy, intelligent cougar would enjoy?  Ryan

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Shy Cub

                                                                                 

Hi Lucia,

I'm 25 years old and kind of shy. There is a pretty gal that I work with, who somewhat resembles you...she is 40 years of age.  I am very attracted to her.  Occasionally her and I have small-talk. I wish I had the courage to eventually ask her out.  What should I do?  Kenny

Hi Kenny,

Before asking her out, ask yourself if things would be awkward if you dated and things didn't work out.  No one wants to go to a job where they have to see an ex that they wish they were still dating or vice versa.  If it's not against company policy and you'll be okay with whatever the outcome is, then go for it.

The good news is that she probably already knows you're interested in her. The bad news is that if she hasn't already made the move herself, then it will be up to you.

Read the full answer at The Cougar Club

Can this Cub be Trusted?

Hello Lucia,

I met this young man who expressed an interest in me.  He would usually call to find out how I was doing and so on.  Recently he asked me to visit him which I gladly did because he had visited me at home before.  

When I arrived he was not well dressed and I suspected he was up to something.  After some time I asked to leave but he said I should spend the night at his place, which I declined.  Then he proposed that I should find time and spend one week end with him, which I have not.

Now he doesn't call me as he used to.  When we first met he asked me if I was going to marry him. He wanted me to take him to meet my parents.   I suspect he is up to something.   Can he be trusted?  What should I do?  Joyce

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Is He Too Young For a Commitment?

Hi Lucia,

I’m 36 and my boyfriend is 28.  We had been dating for 9 months when, because of his immaturity (putting his friends before me) we broke up. Shortly afterward I went on an overseas trip for a month with no cell phone.  Upon my return I found out he had been trying to reach me.

When we finally met up, he told me that during the time we had been apart, he realized how no woman would have wanted to deal with his “friends first” attitude.  He really thought we had something special and that we should try again.  I told him:  I’m 36, I’m over these stupid games, I want a family and a strong stable relationship, if you don’t want that, let’s not try again.  He assured me that’s what he wanted too.

Things are going great and we are now talking about living together but I’m scared that this will not work out and his age will someday come to bite me in the butt.   Last month on the day he gave his landlord notice, I freaked out and created a big fight.   He took it back and said since I wasn’t ready we could wait until I am.  Do you think he’s too young to make a serious commitment at 28?  Sarah

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

10 Things Never to Say to a Cougar Online

One of the best places to meet a Cougar is on a dating site.   Here are 10 things never to say/ask when you contact a Cougar online.

1.   How old are you?  -  Does this even need to be said?  You’re either interested in her or you’re not.  Does it really matter how old she is if you think she’s hot?

2.    Hi /How are you? – One word or one line emails will get you nowhere.  About 50% of cubs who approach me online make this mistake.   What percentage do I respond to?  0%.  If you are emailing a Cougar for the first time and that’s all you have to say for yourself, good luck. 

3.   You look good for your age. – You may think this is a compliment, but mentioning a woman’s age is a back-handed compliment at best.  Why does it have to be ‘for her age’?   If she looks good, she looks good.  Period. 

4.  Can I be your Cub?  -  Would you ever say “Can I be your boyfriend” to a stranger?  Probably not.  It’s something that either just happens naturally or is discussed in “the talk”.   You may be trying to be funny, but it sounds like you’re either desperate or you want to be a pet! 

5.  Have you had botox?  - Asking about any cosmetic procedure is “très gauche”.  If she wants you to know whether she’s had any work done, she’ll tell you.  As long as you think she’s hot, who cares?

Read the rest of the answer at The Cougar Club

My Married Cougar is Verbally Abusive

Hi Lucia,

I’ve been dating a 44 year old married woman for 3 years.  I’m 33 and also married.  The problem we are having is that she does not put too much effort into our relationship. The sex is great and we get along, but when we get into arguments, she is verbally abusive.  She tries to shut me down, doesn’t listen or look for solutions.  It seems she’s trying to gain the control and power she doesn’t have at home because her husband calls all the shots and treat her badly. 

I’ve tried my best to give this woman the emotional support and affection she has missed in the past but it has gotten to the point where she is just using me for sex when it’s convenient for her.

She recently sent me an email that ended with, “I'm sorry for everything that I've done in the past that wasn't up to your expectations...and for ruining your life.  That was never my intention - I guess I should have just left you alone.  You know how to reach me should you ever want to talk or need someone to vent to.  You will be my sunshine always and forever.  I love you.”

Do you think she wants a break or to end it?  Should let her go?  Bunny

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Should I Marry My 22 Year Old Cub?

Hello, Lucia,

I am a 36 year-old woman who is heavily involved with a 22 year old.  I have been divorced for 2 1/2 yrs., and have 2 beautiful little girls.  I’ve been seeing my gorgeous, younger guy for almost a year and a half.  

When we met, I was only divorced a short while and was merely looking for a good time, and so was he.  I must admit, I am a beautiful, sexy woman, who knows what I want, and have a reputation as a heartbreaker.  I have always refused to let a man make a fool out of me, because I have always known my value.  I am, however, deeply in love with my cub. We are so close, best friends, and have the best sex imaginable. 

I tried, for the first year, to end our relationship, but he is so head-strong, and has a way with me, like no other. He refused to let me go.  My family loves him, and his family loves me.  I have actually become extremely close to his mother.  He is so wonderful to my girls.  He has really become like a second father to them.  He is not a big partier, and always, always comes straight home to me.  He has NEVER put me off so he can be with his friends, and I have NEVER had a reason not to trust him.  

He says he wants to marry me, eventually, and wants us to have a child together. I never bring up marriage, or really discuss it with him at all. He is a very hard worker, and his mother says, he always has been. He helps me with my bills around the house, and he is my handy-man.  He truly is an old-soul, and the best partner I could possibly ask for.  He says he had been drinking, and partying since he was 15, and that it made him miserable.

I would love to marry him in a couple of years, but, rightfully so, am scared to death of making a mistake.  I have read your past blogs about men not really being ready until 25.  If this is wrong for me and my girls, I need to figure it out now.  Thanks so much, Lucia...I really enjoy your blog.    Felicia

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

I'm Distraught Over My Cougar!

Hi Lucia,

I'm 25 and dating a woman who is 44.   Someone joked about our age gap and ever since then, she's been very distant. She doesn't talk to me everyday or stay with me like she used too.   I've been very distraught over this and I’ll admit I've cried a few times because I feel she has no idea how much I love and care about her. Tony

Hi Tony,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re so upset.  She’s probably feeling embarrassed and ashamed, even though she’s not doing anything wrong.  Unfortunately, not everyone has a thick skin.

Read the full answer at The Cougar Club

How Can I Keep My Cougar Happy?

Hi Lucia,

I'm in my first relationship with an older woman and it's amazing!  I wish I'd thought of this sooner.  Everything is great and I want to make sure it stays that way.  Can you give me some tips on how to keep my Cougar happy?  Matt

Hi Matt,

Welcome to the Cougar Lifestyle!  More and more younger men are realizing that dating older women has many advantages that you don't get with younger women.  Here are 3 tips to assure that things continue to run smoothly:

Don’t play games.  She probably knows all of them and no longer has the time or patience to play them.  She's interested in "mature" younger men, not boys. If there’s an issue, talk about it, instead of being passive/aggressive or disappearing.

Read the rest of the answer at The Cougar Club

Is She a Cougar?

Hi Lucia,

I'm 23 years and there is a 40ish, extremely hot lady at the gym who dresses to kill and seduce.  She does wear a ring or should I say more than one.  How can I find out if she is a Cougar?  Sean

Hi Sean,

The fact that she dresses to "kill and seduce" as you say (although, shouldn't it be the other way around), could mean one of two things:  1)  She is indeed a Cougar who is on the prowl and wants to attract as much attention as possible or 2) She's in a relationship or married and not getting enough attention, so she uses her clothes to make her feel wanted and attractive, but she has no intentions of going any further.

Read the rest of the answer at The Cougar Club

I'm Obsessed With My Cub!

Hi Lucia,

I've been dating a cub 20 years younger than me for about six months. I allow myself to become obsessed with what he's doing when I'm not with him. I hate not feeling in control.  How can I stop obsessing and get back in the driver's seat of this relationship?  Claire

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Doesn't Want to Marry Me!

Hi Lucia,

I'm 20 and my partner is 34.   Recently she said she wants to get married at some point.   She is always evasive or changes the subject when I bring up specifically her marrying me, as opposed to just generally wanting to get married. This makes me think that she is just having fun with me and doesn't plan to actually marry me at some future time. 

She has said that she won't like me a bit more for trying to act older but I'm worried she needs someone who's not a kid to her and will ultimately go for someone more her peer. 

Am I just imagining it?  Ryan

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Cougar or Sugar Mama?

                                                                             

Hi Lucia,

What is the difference between a Cougar and a Sugar Mama?  Blake

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Will Dating Cougars Mess Me Up?

Hello Lucia,

I’m a 20 year old male who’s in a great sexual relationship with a very sexy and gorgeous 40 year old woman. We're not boyfriend/girlfriend but just hanging out.  Do you think this will mess me up later on when I move past her, if we don’t create a real, full relationship?  I don’t want to have a hard time adjusting down the road with someone closer to my age.  Joe

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Bitten by the "Cougar Bug"

Hi Lucia,

I met a flight attendant last year.  We only spent an evening together, but she left a lasting impression on me.  I am 21 and she was seventeen years older.  Since then I have not been able to get over the difference between her and the other women I have dated.  I've decided to only date older women from now on, at least for a while. I've just had it with those silly college girls. 

My question: where do I start?  The oldest women in my circle of friends are maybe three to six years older than me. I want to meet more in their thirties and forties.  Martin

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

25 Year Old in a 40 Year Old Body

Hi Lucia,

I’ve dated all across the age spectrum, but I always come back to older women.  Without fail, the younger ones do not have the “texture” that holds my interest, much less the class, elegance, poise and life experience that I appreciate in a high-caliber woman.  I found it funny a few years ago when the term Cougar came into the lexicon.  I guess you could say that I loved cougars before Cougars were cool.

Just over a year ago, my sweetie and I broke up.  We had been together for 5 ½ years and she was most definitely the love of my life and in my belief (and those of more than one psychic and intuitive), my soul mate or as some would say, one of them.

The breakup wasn’t my choice and frankly, it was devastating to me.  To this day, I’m still very much in love with her and would marry her tomorrow.  I’m 40, she’s 53.  The age matters to me not one bit.  I find her to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and when I see her, I see God.  That may sound hokey, but it was actually a deeply spiritual relationship and that was an area we both shared very much.

The reason for the demise of the relationship was because I hit a rough spot in my life and found out I actually wasn’t as grown-up as I thought I was.  It became apparent that in many ways I was a 25 year old in a 40 year old body.  That is not good for an older woman who is elegant, classy and sophisticated and needs a mature, responsible man in her life, soul mate or not.

I’ve spent the last year “in the desert” and I’ve grown up.  How can I convince her of this so that we can start to rekindle what we had?   Mick

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Is It Wrong To Have Sex With a Cougar?

 

Hey Lucia,

My friends think I’m crazy because I’m 21 years old and I’ve been having GREAT sex with a 52 year old divorced woman.  We both know it’s just for sex.  Is this wrong?  Joe

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Disappearing Cubs?

Hi Lucia,

I seem to have the same pattern.  I meet younger guys (under 25) who seem very interested when we go out.  They do and say the right things.   I don’t sleep around and usually wait 2 months.  However, suddenly they’re gone - no calls or texts.   I might text once to say hello but I don't chase guys or blow up their phones. This is nothing new and has been happening for years. Why does this keep happening to me?   Scarlett Marie

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Is this Cub Using Me?

Dear Lucia,

I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months.   I am 40 and he is 30.  According to him, he is only dating me.  We have never had the "talk" yet we joke around about not being boyfriend and girlfriend.

Normally we talk 1-2x a day, text each other between 5-15x a day and see each other 2-3x a week.

I know that his ex girlfriend broke up with him 5 months ago.  He recently told me that he was dating a woman in her 40s when he met his ex, who is also 30.  He said he broke up with the older woman when he began to fall in love with his ex.

I didn't ask him for how long exactly he was dating his ex before he knew that he was falling in love.  He told me that the older woman went nuts on him and hacked into his email, wrote emails to his ex and other crazy stuff.

He sounded like he just didn’t understand why the older woman went crazy on him since he, "Never told her that he loved her.”  He said that they had a good time and had fun together.

He loves to come over to my house, he loves to spend the night (if it was up to him, I even think he would move in) and he loves my expensive car. I am now wondering if I am the new older woman until he meets someone to fall in love with.

On our dates he takes me out for dinner and to the movies, but because of our schedules, 70% of the time he comes over later at night, usually between 9-11pm.    We have had a few whole day dates, hiking and biking, but that can still just be considered "having fun".

How can I know if he comes over to my house to see me because he likes me and not just because he has 4 roommates and sleeps on the sofa but I on the other hand have a nice 2 bedroom house?

How can I make sure that he is not just killing time until he finds that new "girlfriend"?  My worst fear is that I get used.  Amy

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Broken Cougar Engagement

Dear Lucia,

I was in a year and a half relationship with a younger guy.  It just recently ended, and I think it was mostly due to my worrying about our age difference.  I continued to have so many doubts even after he would continue to reassure me that my age didn't matter.  

We were going to be engaged and I sabotaged that as well.  I felt we weren’t accepted socially, which was, I now realize, ridiculous.

I am really hurting but I wanted to tell my story and give women the confidence that I didn't have, so that they don't lose their relationship for the same reasons or end things before they have a chance to begin.  Lori

Dear Lori,

I’m sorry to hear that you are in so much pain, because it could have been avoided.  Older women/younger men relationships are not yet accepted by most people, but that’s no reason to avoid them.  If someone has a problem with this type of relationship, it’s their problem, not the couple’s problem.

I’ve made it my mission to make the “Cougar” lifestyle more socially acceptable so that people don’t have to feel embarrassed or ashamed because they are attracted to someone who is much older/younger.

As more and more people jump on the bandwagon, it will not be as taboo as it is today.  I believe in 5-10 years, these relationships will no longer be such a big deal. 

My interview with Men's Mag Daily

I  was recently interviewed by Men's Mag Daily about all things Cougar:

Every guy, at some point in his life, has fantasized about or actually dated an older woman. There’s something extra hot about a beautiful 40-something year old woman who really takes care of herself. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the experience and the confidence that comes along with it. These women didn’t start dressing sexy three months ago. They’ve been doing it for 20 years and have it down to a science from their gym toned bodies to their classy, expensive outfits. 

Along with that 20 years of experience looking sexy they also have 20 years of experience having sex so you can bet the bank that a woman over 40 is going to show you some things in the bedroom you’ve never seen before. Basically, the positives of dating an older woman are endless. 

To get the skinny on cougars we turned to experienced cougar dating expert and the Queen of the Cougar Jungle herself, Lucia. She is an authority on cougars (yes, she is a cougar herself) and has appeared on countless media outlets including the Tyra Banks Show to tell the world all they need to know about the cougar lifestyle and more importantly to let guys know how we can get a Demi Moore of our own. 

Mens Mag Daily was able to chat with Lucia about everything cougars including the exact definition of a cougar (there’s more to it than you think), whether or not liking older women is a fetish, and of course she let us know why dating a cougar is awesome and the best places to meet them

Read the rest of the article here.

I'm Attracted to my Aunt!

Hi Lucia,

I am 24 years old and I am in love with a woman who is 42.  The thing is, she’s my aunt.  We have a very close friendship and I have fallen in love with her.  I don’t think she knows that.  I am afraid to tell her how I feel.  I can be myself when I am with her and she is so grown up.

I see her every weekend.  I make her a special dinner and we watch a movie.  She phones me sometimes during the week and says things like, “I can’t wait for this weekend.” or “Are you coming this weekend?  I miss you.”

I really want to take this relationship further.  I have my own place but I can just as well move in with her.  Must I stop seeing her?  Is this all wrong because she’s my aunt?  J.

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

I'm Hiding My Cougar From My Parents

          

Hi Lucia,

I’m 24 and I've been dating a woman who is twice my age for about twelve months.  Thus far, my parents don't know about her though they are aware I am seeing someone.  They have continued to ask if they could at least see a picture of her but I have always refused.

Recently, my parents have become more adamant to see who I'm dating and it's been evolving into a more contentious issue.  Would you recommend me showing my parents a photo which could possibly alter our close relationship, or should I continue to be vague and secretive.  Mike

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club
 

I'm a Virgin Cub

                                                                                    

Dear Lucia,

I'm a nineteen year old male from England, and for the past year or so I've found myself becoming increasingly attracted to older women. At first I just counted them among the many girls I found attractive and didn't think much more of it, as all young men do, but over time I found myself appreciating their beauty and maturity more and more, and now I feel like it may be time to finally take the plunge and begin dating them.

However, one thing that keeps coming back to me is the idea of cougars as being very sexual beings who want lots of fun and enjoyment in bed. As I am still a virgin, since I prefer to think of sex as something meaningful between two people who care very much for one another rather than as part of a random fling, some part of me feels that I may disappoint them there due to my lack of experience. While that makes me feel a little hesitant about getting involved with an older woman, I also know that I feel more attracted to them than many of the girls my own age. Do you have any advice for me?  Sam

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

10 Reasons to Date a Cougar

What makes older women so attractive to younger men?

Confidence – She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to let you know.  She means what she says and says what she means.  She won’t freak out if she doesn’t hear from you for a few days. 

Sex – She doesn’t get as emotionally attached as younger women do if she’s having sex with you.  She has a high sex drive.  She’s comfortable with her body.  She knows what she’s doing.  She will rock your world.

Money – She doesn’t need yours!  She doesn’t care how much you make.  She doesn’t care what your earning potential is.  She doesn’t expect you to pay for everything.

No Drama - She won’t call/text you 20 times a day.  She won’t have a temper tantrum or cry easily.  She won’t ask:  Why didn’t you call?  Where were you?  Where is this going?

Life Experience – She’s been around (in a good way) and is socially and sexually savvy.  You will become a man and a better lover as a result of being with her.

See the other 5 at The Cougar Club

Interracial Cougar

Hi Lucia,

I am 37 and African-American.  I typically date Caucasian women 5-15yrs older than me.  My conventional wisdom creeps into my head that many older, white women have no experience with interracial dating and this could be a major roadblock to both dating and a strong relationship   I live in the Twin Cities and this is the most diverse city and accepting of interracial relationships that I have seen.

What advice can you give me on how to attract those quality cougars that are open to dating inter racially?   There are a lot of wannabe cougars but clearly they are not in the league of those true cougars.  Many women think because they are older and look decent and date younger that makes them cougars, which it doesn't.

I consider myself a charming, witty, beguiling, confident man but need a few pointers to get me to the next level.  Tony

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

My Cub Wants us to Move in Together

                                                                                

Hi Lucia,

I'm 59, attractive and look 10-15 younger than my years. I was not looking to become a cougar, but a man 22 years younger than me pursued me until I could no longer resist him. Now, six months into our courtship, he wants us to move in together and start building a lasting relationship.

  

We do not depend on each other financially.  We share a real emotional bond and have a wonderful, highly charged intimate life. He is not only a take charge, Alpha male, but he is very handsome and has a great following of young women who would love to be with him. He however, says that in his 37 years, he has not found with anyone else what he has found in me. He already has a child and is adamant that he does not want anymore.

I've never heard of a relationship like ours.   Although we no longer even discuss our chronological difference, I can't help but wonder if a long term relationship is really possible, or if we are destined to be just a fling.

What do you think?  Lucky Lioness

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

A Cub Wants to Marry Me

                                                                                 

Hi Lucia,

I dated a much younger guy a couple of times about a year ago.   I was attracted to him, our dates went well, but I viewed him as a partying type.

Since our last date, he called me about four times to touch base.  He was having financial problems and had moved out of town.  Recently, he contacted me again after having moved back here.

During this call, he told me he missed me, had been thinking about me for a long time, loved me and wanted to marry me.   I told him that he had not really called me that much over the last year for me to believe that missed me.  He said he had been moving around to get financially on track and he would start calling me again.

The last few days, he has been calling, but it still feels strange.  He talks about making a life with someone, being lonely, not wanting an uncaring or flighty type, and feeling like he wasted the last ten years of his life partying and spending money.   

I’m single and would like to have the right guy.   I don’t want to date anyone who is insincere about me.  It's been a long journey to get to this point and I can pretty much see the guys coming who want the ruby instead of the diamond.  Should I continue to talk to this guy if I suspect this is what is going on?  I am feeling a little cautious about the whole thing.  Cautious

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

Should I Stop Seeing My Cub?

Hi Lucia,

I'm an older woman who has been dating a 21 year old  guy for 3 months now.  It is an amazing connection.  However, I keep holding back because I feel concerned that he is so young and I wonder: what is the point to this?

He has no immediate plans for a serious relationship and while I would like one, I am not out there looking either. My relationships are not usually long-lasting!

He says he doesn't care about the age difference and does not hesitate to have me meet his mother. I have been putting that off.

Should I quit this amazing connection while I am ahead?  Lisa

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

My Cub is 23 Years Younger!

Dear Lucia,

I met a young man 23 years younger than myself online playing a game.  We ended up falling for each other 3 months into the game and then 3 months later we met each other. 

We had so much in common even with the age difference.  It was a long distance relationship but we fell in love.  We were together for a year after we met, and then we both started feeling strange about the way people would look at us when we held hands or hugged. 

After a few months, we decided it would be best to just be friends, and it has been so difficult.  I love him so much; want to be with him all the time and I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

Is this normal?  I was married for 25 years and never ever had the type of relationship with my ex that I had and still have with my friend.  We laugh, cry, tell each other things that no one else ever knew.  Can we still keep this relationship alive without the love making and still have the love exist?  We both think we can, but others tell us we are just kidding ourselves.  Cel

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

I'm 19 and my Cougar is 41

Dear Lucia,

I am 19 years old and am currently in a physical relationship with a woman who is 41 years old. We  go out to eat and spend time together every now and then, but I find myself interested in wanting a more serious relationship.

I understand that plenty of people think the age difference is too large but for someone my age, I have a lot going. I currently work two jobs and attend a very prestigious college. I am earning about 40k a year. It may be enough to get me through school and put away for savings but not quite support her. She is struggling with expenses and had been laid off.

We are great friends, have a lot in common, and just love being around each other. I will be starting a fairly good job with Chase Manhattan Bank at the end of this year and will be able to provide for her financially, so finances won't be an issue.

How I go about telling her?  What do you think I should say or do?  If everything works out with her, how do I go about explaining this to my family?  I want to be sure they accept her and treat her well. Any advice or assistance you could give me would be greatly appreciated.  Michael

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

Just a "feeling" or love?

             

Hi Lucia,

I've just met another much younger guy (16yrs) and we've both fallen for each other. I want to settle down but I don't think I have found the right guy. I can't seem to be interested in guys my age or older than me.

I had an earlier relationship with another guy 25 years younger and he still wants to continue the relationship. I've kept away from him because he is too young, even though I still have feelings for him.

I want a man to settle down with and my honest feeling is he should NOT be much younger and at the same time he must be matured. I can't see myself with an older guy.

I want to know the difference between a "feeling" and "love". Chi Chi

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

20 vs 40

                                                                              

 

Hi Lucia,

 

I believe that dating in your 40's needs to be treated in a completely different way than in your 20's. What are your thoughts? Joan

 

Hi Joan,

 

I acquiesce! The 20's is a time when you are still growing and maturing. Scientists at the NIH campus in Bethesda, Md., have found that "the executive branch" of the teen brain — the part that weighs risks, makes judgments and controls impulsive behavior isn't fully mature until age 25.

 

Read the rest of the answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Wants to Get Serious

                                                                                                   

Hi Lucia,

I have a relationship that I want to last but I’m not sure if it can.  I’m a 20 year old male dating a 43 year old woman. We get along great, have an amazing sex life, but now she wants to get a lot more serious. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to do that or not. What do you think?  Andy

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Never Calls

                                                                              

Dear Lucia,

I am dating a 37 year old woman who I feel is leading me on... she always text messages me but never calls.  It seems as though if I don’t call her, she won’t stay interested.  How can I find out what she wants from me...I want something serious!  I don’t know how I should be to get her!! I am 29 and have always dated older women.  Louis

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Meeting a Cougar at the Gym

                                                                          

Hi Lucia,

I see this woman almost everyday at the gym. I'm 24 and she looks like she could be 35 at the most. We constantly exchange looks throughout the 1.5 hours we're there. However, it's like high school where if I catch her, she'll look away quickly or if she knows I'm looking, she'll do something sexy in my direction!

I finally found the courage to greet her and ask for her name (outside of the gym for privacy, and no eyes!) as she was leaving to go back to work. She faced me with the biggest smile and gave me her name (no hesitation). I gave her mine, shook her hand and told her it was a pleasure to finally meet her and that she was gorgeous! The smile she had never left her face throughout the conversation, even as she was walking up the stairs as we parted.

How can I tell for sure if she is interested so I can make my move? Are there any other signs I can look for? How can I grab her attention/interest more? Marcus

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club