Hi Lucia,
I am 24 years old and I am in love with a woman who is 42. The thing is, she’s my aunt. We have a very close friendship and I have fallen in love with her. I don’t think she knows that. I am afraid to tell her how I feel. I can be myself when I am with her and she is so grown up.
I see her every weekend. I make her a special dinner and we watch a movie. She phones me sometimes during the week and says things like, “I can’t wait for this weekend.” or “Are you coming this weekend? I miss you.”
I really want to take this relationship further. I have my own place but I can just as well move in with her. Must I stop seeing her? Is this all wrong because she’s my aunt? J.
Dear J,
I can certainly understand the allure of a beautiful, older woman, especially one who you can be yourself with. However, you obviously know this is totally wrong, or you wouldn’t have written to me.
You may think you’re in love with her, but it’s infatuation. I can understand how you becoming infatuated with her, but she should know better. Of course she knows you’re interested! I’m sure she finds it flattering to have a young man so taken with her, but she is using bad judgment.
Do not move forward with this situation. You cannot move in with her and you cannot have sex with her. I know it’s going to be difficult, but nothing good can come of this situation. If the family found out, at the very least, they would be very disappointed and upset.
If you prefer older women, then please find another one. This one is off limits!
Wow is this a True Story? yeah cougars are so hot!
ReplyDeleteBut never go after family!
If your not gonna have kids then wtf cares? Especially without the whole story....are you blood related? Do the other family members pass judgement of the interaction? Personally as long as you wouldnt bring a kid into this world I think it's not ANYONE elses call. Youre not brother/sister or even same age cousins....this is obviously such a rare occurance and the only reason anyone would tell you otherwise is their personal judgement call from THEIR own experience. If it feels right to you then forget about the stigma...your far enough generation wise that you werent raised close enough for it to be weird...personally Im attracted to a older 1st cousin once removed and I would never pursue a true relationship.... but I definitely harbor feelings...it's in you mate and people don't understand those feelings dont go away...youre not hurting anyone...and you cant rely on OTHER peoples judgement who have no knowledge on what youre going through...make youre own decisions.
ReplyDeleteI'm twenty-five, and am hopelessly attrackted to my aunt as well, have been since I was in my early teens. My story is very similar to yours. If I'm not mistaken an older women for you just wont cut it. Its not that we're young guys looking for older women, necessarily, but rather we are young men who have developed romantic feelings for a close relatative. As does your's, my aunt, in her own way hints to me through subtle jestures and overtly long hugs that she too wrestles with the same ideas as myself. I picture the two of us walking hand in hand through the mall, this is the relationship Im long to have with. It pains me to say in the very back of my mind I know Lucia is right. What if instead of happiness and satisfaction my aunt and I "hooking up" brings regret and shame? I can't say for sure what I'm going to do wen I see her next, if I will try my hand and go for it. But what I do know is the consequences cannot be foreseen, and that's a huge unknown for such a move.
ReplyDeletei to love my aunt ( blood related) she is the perfect woman for me im 27 she is 30 . and we are a close family we have the same things in common .. but it stops at her being my AUNTY . im sorry to say . i would however take her if she wanted to . but i would never put the moves on her out of respect . its a rusty line . depends on family ties . and my family would be devastated
ReplyDeletebobby england x
yeah i know exactly how you feel... my auntie just drives me crazy, whenever i see her i just don't stop having these sexual feelings and desires, i'm not sure what to do but i can't stop thinking of her
ReplyDeletemy wife's nephew is always hitting on her. It doesn't bather me. The guys an idiot. It is flattery.
ReplyDeleteim 28 my arnty is 60 she has allways been thear for me and i can not stop craving for her i lover her so much shes single i relly been thinking about just hugging her holding her felling and kissing her to see whot happens dam i wont my arnty
ReplyDeleteI'm a 20year old male and for the last few years have developed strong feelings for my 43year old aunt ( dads sister , blood related ) I was always to worried about expressing my true feelings so kept it a fantasy , I don't only fantasise about just having sex with my aunt I'm actually in love with her , I want to wake up next to her every morning , we have snogged one time at a family party after we both had a few drinks but quickly pulled away as we realised people might see. I have come to accept that I will have to just keep it a fantasy but that come stop us dreaming right??
ReplyDeleteJust go for it n c wat happens
ReplyDeleteYou guys all need help.
ReplyDeleteyes i want help. how to dating with u.
ReplyDeleteyes guys same here as i am also been attracted by my aunt... she is 36 n i'm 28...at first she got an idea that i've naughty thoughts about her and after some times...i made a move i caress her body and hug her alot...but we both know we can't have sex... but we enjoy it... and now i have decided to move on and should not cross my limits
ReplyDeletefinally... i want to quit it .... does any one know "What should I Do " as i've stopped visiting her... still i think about her and can't help my self to not to fantasize her....
Fantasize all you want, just don't follow through!
DeleteNothing wrong with following through, they're both consenting adults who want each other they don't have to stop themselves and be miserable based on what other people think. The only reason there's a stigma around it is because our small minded society isn't used to the idea and people are conditioned to be opposed to it, no different than how many have such judgemental views about courgars.
DeleteFamily is off-limits. A society without boundaries would be chaotic and out of control.
DeleteWhen it comes to consenting adults nothing is off limits, there's no need for boundaries if both parties are okay with it. Society won't become "chaotic and out of control" just because of what two people do behind closed doors, we're not talking about murder it doesn't affect anyone but the two of them. That's the same argument used against gays, what individuals do in private sexually is no one else's business.
DeletePpl !!!! thanks for your concern... plz stop arguing I know I'm wrong as its off limits.... Lucia is right I must not do this...
ReplyDeleteI cannot stop myself whenever I see her... my beast is unleashed and wants to make love... I cannot resist it but my aunt is the one never says to stop touching her body (stop tingling, hugging & caressing her)... but when I touch her boobs she gets some space but still she allows me to touch her back, waist and bums... sometimes it is about to get intense she the one gets away by making excuses.. goes away or gets herself busy in something... that's why I have never kissed her or .......
so plz someone should guide me ????
I need help??? how should I stop my beast within me???