Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Should I Date this 19 Year Old?

Hi Lucia,

I have 2 daughters - one 20 and one 17.   I will be going on a date with a 19 year old. The guy I have a date with is good friends with my 17 year old’s ex boyfriend.  

She is very judgmental and not happy about this.  I don't want to hurt her but this guy is very nice, fun, and we have a lot in common.  My daughter is being over dramatic.  I am trying to make her realize we are going on a date, not getting married. She said I am pathetic and embarrassing and that I go out with young guys because I can't get anybody my own age and I do it to make myself feel good.

Well duh, what girl wouldn't go out with someone else to make yourself feel good?  I see nothing wrong with it.  Any advice?  Nancy

Hi Nancy,

You’ve certainly hit the nail on the head. The main reason for doing anything in life, especially choose to date certain people, is because we feel good around them.

Remember that you’re the parent here and you can date whoever you want.  Tell her you’re sorry she’s not happy about it however it’s your decision.  I would not bring him to the house for a while, since it may be awkward.  If you continue to date him for any length of time, she may eventually be more accepting of the situation, and at that point you can “bring him home”.

1 comment:

  1. As a young guy i have to say that this is a horrible situation here. I have no judgment against people who date older women, my girlfriend is older than me (just a few months though ;)but i can clearly see that the guy is probably just trying to hook up with the mom for revenge sakes, and even if thats not the case, then imagine being in the daughters position, it would be horrible knowing that your mom has been with the same guy you once shared a close connection with.

    I would stay away personally, out of all the guys there are in the world why would you pick your daughters ex? This also applies to the guy, which is why i believe there is an ulterior motive.