I recently started dating a 22 year old – I’m 42. I gotta say, he’s so sweet and loving. At the same time, I wonder what he's doing? I’m really feeling him and I'm afraid I'm thinking about him or considering him too much.
I know and understand he deserves a life where he would marry a woman that can give him a family. We haven’t discussed this but I did tell him "This is what it is, sooner or later, it has to be over.” He has been distant since then, but we have a cruise scheduled for next month. How should I be taking this all? I do feel he cares for me deeply. Zatima
Yes, guys in their early 20s are sweet and loving, and one of the reasons is because they’re idealistic about love. You and I both know the chances of this leading to marriage or a long term commitment are slim to none, but he wants to believe that maybe, somehow, it might. When you told him there was no future, you burst his bubble. I wouldn’t have recommended that you say that to him, however, you obviously can’t take it back.
Now you need to do some damage control. Luckily, you have a cruise planned. Pick a moment when you are both relaxed and in a great mood – maybe after sex - and say something like, “It feels great to be with you. I know I said this will be over sooner or later, but you never know what might happen!” Smile, give him a kiss and never bring the subject up again!