Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I'm Attracted to a 19 Year Old Cub

Dear Lucia,

I recently met a guy at a friend’s party.  He didn't tell me his real age when we first met because he said I wouldn't have given him a second glance. The moment we first laid eyes on each other and started talking we hit it off right away, everything faded and it felt like it was just the two of us.

We saw each other again a week later and that's when he told me he was 19.  I was in shock, I didn't know what to say or do.  I became cold and distant to this person who I thought was good for me.  He didn't act 19, his mind isn't 19.  He's smart, he treats me well, he makes me happy, we're compatible on so many levels and he's warm, kind and sweet.  Am I wrong to date him?  In shock

Dear In shock,

It’s interesting to note that if you were a man, you would probably not be writing in to ask me whether you should be dating a 19 year old girl!  Luckily, the double standard that exists in dating regarding age differences is slowly going away.  I believe in 5-10 years, it will no longer be an issue.

You didn’t tell me your age, but it doesn’t matter.  He treats you well, makes you happy, is warm, kind and sweet and you’re compatible on many levels.  Are you wrong to date him?  You’re wrong not to date him.  Enjoy yourself and don’t be too concerned about whether or not it will last.  


  1. Hi - I have the same problem. I am 40 and the guy that I like is 19 and a friend. I think he feels something for me but it's complicated as he is my son's best friend! what do I do?

  2. I have a friend who feels the same way too. She likes the guy but it's 20 years younger than her though both of them seems to have a mutual understanding but the situation is quiet complicated. The parents of the guy would not let their relationship to bloom because they don't like my friend which is not an easy situation. Could you please help my friend? She's badly hurt now.