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Where to Take a Cougar on a First Date?

 

Hi Lucia,

Thanks for all you do.  You're really awesome!

My question is, what are some great first date ideas, particularly for a cougar/cub couple?

After being in college for 4.5 years and dating girls roughly the same age as myself I've noticed most of my dates really just consisted of hanging out around campus, or going to parties, or clubs.

What are some more mature dates that a classy, intelligent cougar would enjoy?  Ryan

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Shy Cub

                                                                                 

Hi Lucia,

I'm 25 years old and kind of shy. There is a pretty gal that I work with, who somewhat resembles you...she is 40 years of age.  I am very attracted to her.  Occasionally her and I have small-talk. I wish I had the courage to eventually ask her out.  What should I do?  Kenny

Hi Kenny,

Before asking her out, ask yourself if things would be awkward if you dated and things didn't work out.  No one wants to go to a job where they have to see an ex that they wish they were still dating or vice versa.  If it's not against company policy and you'll be okay with whatever the outcome is, then go for it.

The good news is that she probably already knows you're interested in her. The bad news is that if she hasn't already made the move herself, then it will be up to you.

Read the full answer at The Cougar Club

Can this Cub be Trusted?

Hello Lucia,

I met this young man who expressed an interest in me.  He would usually call to find out how I was doing and so on.  Recently he asked me to visit him which I gladly did because he had visited me at home before.  

When I arrived he was not well dressed and I suspected he was up to something.  After some time I asked to leave but he said I should spend the night at his place, which I declined.  Then he proposed that I should find time and spend one week end with him, which I have not.

Now he doesn't call me as he used to.  When we first met he asked me if I was going to marry him. He wanted me to take him to meet my parents.   I suspect he is up to something.   Can he be trusted?  What should I do?  Joyce

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

My Married Cougar is Verbally Abusive

Hi Lucia,

I’ve been dating a 44 year old married woman for 3 years.  I’m 33 and also married.  The problem we are having is that she does not put too much effort into our relationship. The sex is great and we get along, but when we get into arguments, she is verbally abusive.  She tries to shut me down, doesn’t listen or look for solutions.  It seems she’s trying to gain the control and power she doesn’t have at home because her husband calls all the shots and treat her badly. 

I’ve tried my best to give this woman the emotional support and affection she has missed in the past but it has gotten to the point where she is just using me for sex when it’s convenient for her.

She recently sent me an email that ended with, “I'm sorry for everything that I've done in the past that wasn't up to your expectations...and for ruining your life.  That was never my intention - I guess I should have just left you alone.  You know how to reach me should you ever want to talk or need someone to vent to.  You will be my sunshine always and forever.  I love you.”

Do you think she wants a break or to end it?  Should let her go?  Bunny

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

I'm Distraught Over My Cougar!

Hi Lucia,

I'm 25 and dating a woman who is 44.   Someone joked about our age gap and ever since then, she's been very distant. She doesn't talk to me everyday or stay with me like she used too.   I've been very distraught over this and I’ll admit I've cried a few times because I feel she has no idea how much I love and care about her. Tony

Hi Tony,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re so upset.  She’s probably feeling embarrassed and ashamed, even though she’s not doing anything wrong.  Unfortunately, not everyone has a thick skin.

Read the full answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Doesn't Want to Marry Me!

Hi Lucia,

I'm 20 and my partner is 34.   Recently she said she wants to get married at some point.   She is always evasive or changes the subject when I bring up specifically her marrying me, as opposed to just generally wanting to get married. This makes me think that she is just having fun with me and doesn't plan to actually marry me at some future time. 

She has said that she won't like me a bit more for trying to act older but I'm worried she needs someone who's not a kid to her and will ultimately go for someone more her peer. 

Am I just imagining it?  Ryan

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Cougar or Sugar Mama?

                                                                             

Hi Lucia,

What is the difference between a Cougar and a Sugar Mama?  Blake

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Will Dating Cougars Mess Me Up?

Hello Lucia,

I’m a 20 year old male who’s in a great sexual relationship with a very sexy and gorgeous 40 year old woman. We're not boyfriend/girlfriend but just hanging out.  Do you think this will mess me up later on when I move past her, if we don’t create a real, full relationship?  I don’t want to have a hard time adjusting down the road with someone closer to my age.  Joe

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

Bitten by the "Cougar Bug"

Hi Lucia,

I met a flight attendant last year.  We only spent an evening together, but she left a lasting impression on me.  I am 21 and she was seventeen years older.  Since then I have not been able to get over the difference between her and the other women I have dated.  I've decided to only date older women from now on, at least for a while. I've just had it with those silly college girls. 

My question: where do I start?  The oldest women in my circle of friends are maybe three to six years older than me. I want to meet more in their thirties and forties.  Martin

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

25 Year Old in a 40 Year Old Body

Hi Lucia,

I’ve dated all across the age spectrum, but I always come back to older women.  Without fail, the younger ones do not have the “texture” that holds my interest, much less the class, elegance, poise and life experience that I appreciate in a high-caliber woman.  I found it funny a few years ago when the term Cougar came into the lexicon.  I guess you could say that I loved cougars before Cougars were cool.

Just over a year ago, my sweetie and I broke up.  We had been together for 5 ½ years and she was most definitely the love of my life and in my belief (and those of more than one psychic and intuitive), my soul mate or as some would say, one of them.

The breakup wasn’t my choice and frankly, it was devastating to me.  To this day, I’m still very much in love with her and would marry her tomorrow.  I’m 40, she’s 53.  The age matters to me not one bit.  I find her to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and when I see her, I see God.  That may sound hokey, but it was actually a deeply spiritual relationship and that was an area we both shared very much.

The reason for the demise of the relationship was because I hit a rough spot in my life and found out I actually wasn’t as grown-up as I thought I was.  It became apparent that in many ways I was a 25 year old in a 40 year old body.  That is not good for an older woman who is elegant, classy and sophisticated and needs a mature, responsible man in her life, soul mate or not.

I’ve spent the last year “in the desert” and I’ve grown up.  How can I convince her of this so that we can start to rekindle what we had?   Mick

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

My interview with Men's Mag Daily

I  was recently interviewed by Men's Mag Daily about all things Cougar:

Every guy, at some point in his life, has fantasized about or actually dated an older woman. There’s something extra hot about a beautiful 40-something year old woman who really takes care of herself. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the experience and the confidence that comes along with it. These women didn’t start dressing sexy three months ago. They’ve been doing it for 20 years and have it down to a science from their gym toned bodies to their classy, expensive outfits. 

Along with that 20 years of experience looking sexy they also have 20 years of experience having sex so you can bet the bank that a woman over 40 is going to show you some things in the bedroom you’ve never seen before. Basically, the positives of dating an older woman are endless. 

To get the skinny on cougars we turned to experienced cougar dating expert and the Queen of the Cougar Jungle herself, Lucia. She is an authority on cougars (yes, she is a cougar herself) and has appeared on countless media outlets including the Tyra Banks Show to tell the world all they need to know about the cougar lifestyle and more importantly to let guys know how we can get a Demi Moore of our own. 

Mens Mag Daily was able to chat with Lucia about everything cougars including the exact definition of a cougar (there’s more to it than you think), whether or not liking older women is a fetish, and of course she let us know why dating a cougar is awesome and the best places to meet them

Read the rest of the article here.

I'm Hiding My Cougar From My Parents

          

Hi Lucia,

I’m 24 and I've been dating a woman who is twice my age for about twelve months.  Thus far, my parents don't know about her though they are aware I am seeing someone.  They have continued to ask if they could at least see a picture of her but I have always refused.

Recently, my parents have become more adamant to see who I'm dating and it's been evolving into a more contentious issue.  Would you recommend me showing my parents a photo which could possibly alter our close relationship, or should I continue to be vague and secretive.  Mike

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club
 

My Cub Wants us to Move in Together

                                                                                

Hi Lucia,

I'm 59, attractive and look 10-15 younger than my years. I was not looking to become a cougar, but a man 22 years younger than me pursued me until I could no longer resist him. Now, six months into our courtship, he wants us to move in together and start building a lasting relationship.

  

We do not depend on each other financially.  We share a real emotional bond and have a wonderful, highly charged intimate life. He is not only a take charge, Alpha male, but he is very handsome and has a great following of young women who would love to be with him. He however, says that in his 37 years, he has not found with anyone else what he has found in me. He already has a child and is adamant that he does not want anymore.

I've never heard of a relationship like ours.   Although we no longer even discuss our chronological difference, I can't help but wonder if a long term relationship is really possible, or if we are destined to be just a fling.

What do you think?  Lucky Lioness

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

Should I Stop Seeing My Cub?

Hi Lucia,

I'm an older woman who has been dating a 21 year old  guy for 3 months now.  It is an amazing connection.  However, I keep holding back because I feel concerned that he is so young and I wonder: what is the point to this?

He has no immediate plans for a serious relationship and while I would like one, I am not out there looking either. My relationships are not usually long-lasting!

He says he doesn't care about the age difference and does not hesitate to have me meet his mother. I have been putting that off.

Should I quit this amazing connection while I am ahead?  Lisa

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Wants to Get Serious

                                                                                                   

Hi Lucia,

I have a relationship that I want to last but I’m not sure if it can.  I’m a 20 year old male dating a 43 year old woman. We get along great, have an amazing sex life, but now she wants to get a lot more serious. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to do that or not. What do you think?  Andy

Read Lucia's answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Never Calls

                                                                              

Dear Lucia,

I am dating a 37 year old woman who I feel is leading me on... she always text messages me but never calls.  It seems as though if I don’t call her, she won’t stay interested.  How can I find out what she wants from me...I want something serious!  I don’t know how I should be to get her!! I am 29 and have always dated older women.  Louis

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Disappeared

          

Dear Lucia,

About three months ago I began dating an older woman who happens to be 35 years old. I am 25. We've been on a couple of dates since then and have been getting on just great, but in the past month I have not heard from her at all.

I'm guessing it might just be my insecurities, but I feel that I may have been given the flick! I've tried getting in contact with via email and by phone but alas to no avail. I've really fallen for this woman. 

Ossie

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

My Cougar Won't Return My Calls

Hi Lucia,

About three months ago I began dating an older woman who happens to be 39 years old.  I am 27.  We've been on a couple of dates since then and have been getting on just great, but in the past month I have not heard from her at all. 

I'm guessing it might just be my insecurities, but I feel that I may have been given the flick!  I've tried getting in contact with her via email and by phone but alas to no avail. I've really fallen for this woman.  Ossie

Read the answer at The Cougar Club