My 18 Year Old Cub Proposed!

                                                                          

Hi Lucia,

I really admire your work and think you are fantastic.  I am a 31 year old single mom with two young children.  I met my cub when he was just 17 and we fell head over heels in love.  I pushed him away until he turned 18, as hard as that was for the both of us.  He will be turning 19 this month.

He proposed to me on Christmas day and I said yes.  Is it wrong for me to marry a teenager of 19 when I am a 31 year old woman?  When we are together I don’t question it, but he is away for a couple of months and I’m starting to have doubts. He treats me so well and we are very happy together, as are my children. I don’t want to push him away again because of my fear of the age difference.  Karen

Read the answer at The Cougar Club

My interview with Men's Mag Daily

I  was recently interviewed by Men's Mag Daily about all things Cougar:

Every guy, at some point in his life, has fantasized about or actually dated an older woman. There’s something extra hot about a beautiful 40-something year old woman who really takes care of herself. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the experience and the confidence that comes along with it. These women didn’t start dressing sexy three months ago. They’ve been doing it for 20 years and have it down to a science from their gym toned bodies to their classy, expensive outfits. 

Along with that 20 years of experience looking sexy they also have 20 years of experience having sex so you can bet the bank that a woman over 40 is going to show you some things in the bedroom you’ve never seen before. Basically, the positives of dating an older woman are endless. 

To get the skinny on cougars we turned to experienced cougar dating expert and the Queen of the Cougar Jungle herself, Lucia. She is an authority on cougars (yes, she is a cougar herself) and has appeared on countless media outlets including the Tyra Banks Show to tell the world all they need to know about the cougar lifestyle and more importantly to let guys know how we can get a Demi Moore of our own. 

Mens Mag Daily was able to chat with Lucia about everything cougars including the exact definition of a cougar (there’s more to it than you think), whether or not liking older women is a fetish, and of course she let us know why dating a cougar is awesome and the best places to meet them

Read the rest of the article here.

I'm Attracted to Much Older Cougars

Hi Lucia,

I’m 32 and I have a lovely partner who is nearly 40 yet I can’t help but feel attracted to much older ladies ranging from 45 to 60.  Is this normal and do most guys feel the same?  Nicky

Hi Nicky,

Although it may not be the norm, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the age range you're interested in.  Guys who are into older women don’t usually care what the age is.  As long as they’re attracted to them, it doesn’t make a difference.   

As women continue to take care of themselves, more and more ladies in their 50s and 60s will continue to look fantastic.  Although it will probably never be the norm, there will always be guys who will appreciate a vibrant, confident, sexy woman of any age!

You need to ask yourself if it's worth leaving your current partner for an older woman.  Just because you're attracted to women over 45,  I wouldn't suggest you leave unless you're unhappy.  You got together with her for a reason.  However, if you truly feel you can't be happy unless your partner is over 45, then I say go for it, but please think long and hard before you do.  

When Is An Age Gap Too Big?

Dear Lucia,

I’m dating a man who is five years younger than me and not settled in his life yet. He is definitely the pursuer in this relationship – calling me, setting up dates and even surprising me with events for us to go to.  I’m 38 and he is 32 although we don’t look much different in age. Should I stop seeing him because of the age difference?  When does an age gap become too big?  Suzie

Dear Suzie,

You said you don’t look much different in age. This tells me he is probably your first younger man, otherwise, you wouldn’t be so concerned about what you look like together. As long as he treats you well and you have great chemistry, who cares what you look like as a couple?  Your friends will know what the age difference is, so the only people you’re concerned about are strangers. You can’t live your life trying to look good in the eyes of people you’ll probably never see again.  Besides, they’re probably jealous!

Secondly, you mentioned that he is 32 and not yet settled.  These days, a lot of 32-year-olds aren’t settled – male or female. You have to ask yourself some questions: When do I want to be married by?  Do I want to have children?  When?  Is he motivated and working toward security and stability or is he still into behaving as if he were in college? What are his long-term goals?  What are your long-term goals?   If you want to be married within the next 2 years, then you need to ask yourself if he could possibly be "The One."  If not, are you willing to simply stay and enjoy the moment knowing that eventually you’ll have to move on?  Not every relationship has to lead to marriage.

Finally, when does an age gap become too big? Well, six years is not that much of an age difference and will become even less so as you get older. It’s not about age. It’s about compatibility.

In the end, to have a great relationship you need to have two people who appreciate each other and feel lucky to be together, no matter what the age difference may be.  To quote the late Aaliyah, "Age ain’t nothin’ but a number."