My 18 Year Old Cub Proposed!

                                                                          

Hi Lucia,

I really admire your work and think you are fantastic.  I am a 31 year old single mom with two young children.  I met my cub when he was just 17 and we fell head over heels in love.  I pushed him away until he turned 18, as hard as that was for the both of us.  He will be turning 19 this month.

He proposed to me on Christmas day and I said yes.  Is it wrong for me to marry a teenager of 19 when I am a 31 year old woman?  When we are together I don’t question it, but he is away for a couple of months and I’m starting to have doubts. He treats me so well and we are very happy together, as are my children. I don’t want to push him away again because of my fear of the age difference.  Karen

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Where to Take a Cougar on a First Date?

 

Hi Lucia,

Thanks for all you do.  You're really awesome!

My question is, what are some great first date ideas, particularly for a cougar/cub couple?

After being in college for 4.5 years and dating girls roughly the same age as myself I've noticed most of my dates really just consisted of hanging out around campus, or going to parties, or clubs.

What are some more mature dates that a classy, intelligent cougar would enjoy?  Ryan

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Shy Cub

                                                                                 

Hi Lucia,

I'm 25 years old and kind of shy. There is a pretty gal that I work with, who somewhat resembles you...she is 40 years of age.  I am very attracted to her.  Occasionally her and I have small-talk. I wish I had the courage to eventually ask her out.  What should I do?  Kenny

Hi Kenny,

Before asking her out, ask yourself if things would be awkward if you dated and things didn't work out.  No one wants to go to a job where they have to see an ex that they wish they were still dating or vice versa.  If it's not against company policy and you'll be okay with whatever the outcome is, then go for it.

The good news is that she probably already knows you're interested in her. The bad news is that if she hasn't already made the move herself, then it will be up to you.

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Can this Cub be Trusted?

Hello Lucia,

I met this young man who expressed an interest in me.  He would usually call to find out how I was doing and so on.  Recently he asked me to visit him which I gladly did because he had visited me at home before.  

When I arrived he was not well dressed and I suspected he was up to something.  After some time I asked to leave but he said I should spend the night at his place, which I declined.  Then he proposed that I should find time and spend one week end with him, which I have not.

Now he doesn't call me as he used to.  When we first met he asked me if I was going to marry him. He wanted me to take him to meet my parents.   I suspect he is up to something.   Can he be trusted?  What should I do?  Joyce

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Is He Too Young For a Commitment?

Hi Lucia,

I’m 36 and my boyfriend is 28.  We had been dating for 9 months when, because of his immaturity (putting his friends before me) we broke up. Shortly afterward I went on an overseas trip for a month with no cell phone.  Upon my return I found out he had been trying to reach me.

When we finally met up, he told me that during the time we had been apart, he realized how no woman would have wanted to deal with his “friends first” attitude.  He really thought we had something special and that we should try again.  I told him:  I’m 36, I’m over these stupid games, I want a family and a strong stable relationship, if you don’t want that, let’s not try again.  He assured me that’s what he wanted too.

Things are going great and we are now talking about living together but I’m scared that this will not work out and his age will someday come to bite me in the butt.   Last month on the day he gave his landlord notice, I freaked out and created a big fight.   He took it back and said since I wasn’t ready we could wait until I am.  Do you think he’s too young to make a serious commitment at 28?  Sarah

Read the answer at The Cougar Club